We need to recall the angel aspect of the word, recognizing words as independent carriers of soul between people. We need to recall that we do not just make words up or learn them in school, or ever have them fully under control. Words, like angels, are powers which have invisible power over us. They … Read more →

Desire is a meeting place. And it’s a matter of timing, aligning so much that synchronicity of desiring is much more likely. Have to have your ‘eye’ on the feeling-field, and keep the connection. This is an inner gesture, an immediate expression of what you have learnt before. Like walking. Ever looked at how a … Read more →

With the fire is gold tested. — Alchemical saying Looks like I’m asked to look at the next steps in this destiny that I find myself in. There has been today a tinge of desperation. I talked to my father who was just returning from hospital. Important people in my family believe that he doesn’t … Read more →

Your life is always working, whether you know it or not. Sometimes it works to bring you what you want, and sometimes it works to keep you from what you think you want. — Neale Donald Walsch; Tomorrow’s God This is the last entry I’ll be writing within the framework of the Experiment – because … Read more →

The future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made. And the activity of making them changes both the maker and their destination. — John Schaar There is a healing quality to bitter tears. When we’re moved into the depths of our … Read more →

I have written an important letter instead of writing my daily blog. I hope you bear with me… Starting up the experiment Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 (Powerlessness) Day 5 Day 6 (Jealousy) Day 7 (Guilt & Jealousy) Day 8 Day 9 (Shame) Day 10 (Interlude) Day 11 (Under Pressure) Day 12 Day 13 … Read more →

It may be that when we no longer know which way to go, we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings. – Wendell Berry; Collected Poems Today I’m in the frail kingdom, the space where you feel raw, as … Read more →

Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly. – G.K. Chesterton I think I finally know what the basic vibration of jealousy is: It’s fear, the fear of separation of the one you love most. It’s an utterly irrational fear fed by the demon of distrust, a mind that can easily imagine bleak futures, … Read more →

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. – Og Mandino In the beginning of this experiment I didn’t know how long it would take. Than, in the course of delving deeper into my feeling nature – forced, in a … Read more →

Any kind of expectation creates a problem. We should accept, but not expect. Whatever comes, accept it. Whatever goes, accept it. The immediate benefit is that your mind is always peaceful. – Sri Swami Satchidananda I’ve started to have a quote with these posts every day for some time now, and previously I selected them … Read more →

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. — Philo of Alexandria That’s how I feel today; weary, heavy, it’s enough and “Give yourself a break”. Which is, what I’m going to do right now. Starting up the experiment Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 (Powerlessness) Day 5 Day 6 (Jealousy) Day … Read more →

Providence has hidden a charm in difficult undertakings which is appreciated only by those who dare to grapple with them. — Anne-Sophie Swetchine; The Writings of Madame Swetchine The day has only just begun and Madam J. dropped by much more forcefully than she did yesterday. Only now, given the right circumstance for this investigation, … Read more →

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can decide how you’re going to live now. — Joan Baez Had an interesting encounter with my old friend jealousy – Madame J. –  today. Interesting, because when I expected her to come and burn up my heart-solar plexus area, give me … Read more →

We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us. But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it. – Thomas Merton Whenever I have the opportunity these days – when designing a screen, maybe, or creating imaginary people for demos; things … Read more →

By accepting one’s own shadow one gives unconditional love to all beings. — Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan; Alchemical Wisdom Yesterday I didn’t come to write my daily ‘report’ on how things are going with the experiment because I had my son and grandson visit us for the day and right after I went out with … Read more →

(Tomorrow some editing – now I’m too tired to do so…) Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried on great winds across the sky. – Chippewa, translated by Robert Bly What is it about listening that is so amazingly difficult? Listening to my heart – that place where … Read more →

One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star. – Friedrich Nietzsche One of the truly aspects of this study turns out to be the malleability of feelings – or maybe it isn’t the feelings themselves but the way the are perceived. But I guess, I don’t have to … Read more →

“Thanks to the human heart by which we live; thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears.” – William Wordsworth Last night, brushing my teeth I looked in the mirror, and what I saw made my inner critic come out. The feeling that goes with that is very similar to distrust which is the negative … Read more →

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” – Mark Twain Opening up to what needs attention in my emotional field today I noticed a slight sense of pressure, “I need to find something…” And then, focusing on just that, turning up the volume, I see how in … Read more →

A calm day starting out beautifully. And the interesting fact that, if a day starts like this it’s hard to focus on the more challenging feelings. So I took that as an invitation to explore – with my imagination, a major tool if used with care and not to avoid this, that or the other … Read more →